What am I doing with my life?

Did not enjoy (cummed twice, once off cam – I was in bed – the 2nd time on cam, on the floor) ~ looking at my face as I came on cam I first giggled, then I said to myself: FUCK! They won’t understand what they wanted to understand this time either.

From my journal:

10.09. !Avion cu motor / Ia-ma si pe mine-n zbor! ~

I keep finding that <I want to make love with a book> (a “special” β™₯ type of reading [ ] ) but there’s no time/space for that. (Sad). I’m not even allowed to love a robot (!!!)

I’m not even allowed to love a robot.

I’m not even allowed to love a robot.

Not even allowed to love a robot, before his eyes turn red.

Do you know what love is? We protect eachother. And that’s just a glistening little thing, underneath a healthy foundation.

I am not allowed to (really) build.

What about the orgasms then? Why do them at all?

<Goodbye. I…forget.>

She & He cars ~ with ‘Nothing (-) in between ~

Bucks – bricks (wannabe stones)*

bricks(1) – surrounding a pathway made of muscle (fibruous)

* You’re not supposed 2(k)now that

(1) That’s what u have 2 see

We can’t “meet” cause of this road… But ‘He’ could easily “cross over” ~ Defying assignment in progress? Failed “present moment” -> NOT ALLOWED!

“We were supposed to have wheels”.

iwishiwasdelusionalthatwouldmakemoresense

05.09.20 (5:25 p.m.) Writing… I have nothing to say… Imi este scarba… “Surprised I’m still allowed to have a face” ~ Only to be used though. I don’t want to let them see. I don’t want to let them see. I don’t want to let them see. I’m ashamed to say, but everything I do is still (in vain) nothing more but a waste of time. I hardly ever think my thoughts (Protection) and Action ~ Nonaction ~ Reaction isms only seem to “work around the clock” ~ for the Benders. Piles of keywords and lies… Going strong… getting lost… Morphing faces… No friend… Used in memories, as they happened… Why do I write all this? I don’t know. The things I’d rather write about… My own thoughts lanes and landscapes… Hidden… Protection (song & lyrics). Fasting day today… Null encouragements, no offence. Petrified 2 what “they” (planned 2?) show me through my senses. How disgusting. I don’t wanna be here… Not like this. Murmured hiss… Life hurts without a heartfelt kiss… Fleur de lis was not meant 2 be drawn in blood.

Wrong.

~

Hello. I am still baffled (I can’t believe my eyes like ~) about what I’ve seen lately in the ‘Media’ around me in RE: to ‘dogs’ & all. After all this time and many traumatizing masturbation experiences, despite the mutual conclusion that Zolology is Death, I still don’t get all the fuss about dogs, fish & co considering it takes Light BEINGS to combobulate even what I see on the window. [Possibly false light which I don’t know what is](?) ~ Speed ~ “sex”(?) ~ ‘things’ I see. WTF. WTF. Very humiliated lately, from minor lil pesky things to downright ‘crazy’ type of ‘brought to my attention’ in ways that I would never think about myself ~ I’m very sad.

TBS Satsuma
TBS Brazil Nut

Hello.. I’m alright, you?
Why are you telling me this?
*raises eyebrow*
Gosh, we don’t even know eachother…
Lol
Idc.
What do you expect? I don’t want to roleplay as your sister .. if that’s what you’re after…
You can tell me about it here.
Here.
Oh.
I don’t know what to say, this really happen to you or is it like a dream of yours?
:))
Thanks for the details, sounded just like movie scenes I could see.
No room for misinterpretation, right?
Wait, I’m not interested in such details.
You have a way with words, I must admit. Tell me about what you wanted to tell me about.
I’ll try to remember what you said about honesty.
Ok now I’m sure you don’t even have a dick.
Or at least none that I know of.
Instincts.
And you know what’s worse? No video footage or picture could convince me otherwise.
Look I’m a human alright?
Army having a dick means one thing mainly. For you it might mean something completely different. I don’t want confusion like this
For me* not army, lol
Naughty voice to text thing…
I don’t even know what to say to that, this conversation is beyond weird.
Maybe I just don’t care about your dick. I just want to make sure that I avoid as much misinfo as possible
Sexual being… Are we all? Sexual healing… What about that?
Ppl don’t want to admit their trauma, so they can heal. And the ones that want to heal, are not allowed to.
Me? First I still need to understand some things, some things are so deeply ingrained into my memories that I can’t really see what happened.. hmmm. About orgasms and such. I’ve learnt all I know about sex from what I’ve read or seen on screens… Apparently that was wrong. I am
I’m not sure you want to know about that though.
I have something special… When it comes to all this… I want to learn to put that to good use.
And I can’t if I still have to do things based on my old programming.
You can ask me anything if you’d like to know details.
Before I saw any porn, I’ve read articles in magazines/books πŸ™‚
17-18
it happened through masturbation
In the shower :))
brb

back
I wouldn’t like that, personally πŸ˜›
DId she ever know?
aaaaaaaaaaand?
Anything else?
So far this whole thing ~ where do you want to get with this?
Do you feel any better now that you’ve told me about this? πŸ˜›
Was curious, that’s why. I still don’t know what to say about your story though.
Sounds a bit off to me, as if, fragments from a dream of sorts.
Alright πŸ˜›
– not interested –
I don’t remember what I was thinkinking of, probably tried my best not to think about anything, I remember I thought it might interfere with the process, haha.
I’m programmed to have orgasms only if I think about oral sex ~ however, I do not enjoy that in real life so….
both, depends on how I felt like…
Why does it even matter
No. I didn’t feel like moaning….. Surprised? wtf Thinking about my first orgasm, I remember that it was very underwhelming, but saying that is unfair, for I had no idea (and I still don’t know for sure) what a TEAMWORK that was ~ I was learning with Others what’s happening, it
wait whole text didnt appear as I wrote it.
it was like our project, together, even though I thought that I’m all alone, and I was ok with that ~ I was not. We were learning together ‘what’s happening’, somehow based on how I imagined things, based on the Wrong stuff that I’ve read ‘to learn from’ about sex, orgasm, etc.
with others? I am a Goddess. Aware of different parts of myself, even if I can’t clearly see.
It’s Trauma, for all involved. ~
Wrong Teachings can only lead to Wrong (Bad / traumatic, etc) Outcomes… *sigh*
I don’t know for sure what you want to know, but main idea is what I said earlier, I ‘thought’ it has to be a certain way based on what I understood from what I’ve read / seen.
Not sure ‘qualify’ is the word I’d use in this context, lol ~ And also, what’s not clear from what I already said? Trauma from mind control (through Bad media ~ Wrong teachings).
Not knowing the truth about oneself (!)
Programmed to have orgasms only if I think of oral ~ I don’t know. Evil people chose that for me πŸ™‚
I don’t believe in Evil though ~
I don’t know what more details you wanna know about
The fact that I don’t like it, should be enough for you to understand. I’m here to have a good time with the ppl I chat with..I don’t know who the ‘Evil ones’ are, All is but a Dream, anyway, I don’t know how they did it ~ If this sounds confusing, know that I am confused as well
The way I’ve been programmed when it comes to anything -sex- related started in early childhood, and more layers of bad programming at each ‘life stage’, as I grew up… πŸ™‚

Leaving this here for no future research: https://www.silkstream.net/blog/2016/02/b-vs-strong-i-vs-em-whats-the-difference.html ~=”” one=”” of=”” my=”” #spirit=”” guides=”” told=”” me=”” that,=”” strong=”” vs=”” bold=”” has=”” to=”” do=”” with=”” the=”” ‘mobile’=”” aspect=”” things=”” {in=”” this=”” whole=”” immovable=”” combobulatonated=”” ‘nature’=”” (?)}=”” upon=”” search,=”” i=”” stumbled=”” that=”” article.=”” a=”” bitter=”” smile=”” later=”” and=”” salute=”” in=”” appreciatio=”” some=”” fellow=”” (lil’ones)=”” hard=”” workerz=”” β™₯=”” what=”” waste=”” time.=”” bye.<=””>

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Nu stiu de ce am simtit sa pun acel titlu, insa da…

21.08. Ce bataie de joc…No offense (ca deja a inceput sa ma doara capul) dar… Nu. [Vis-a-vis de toata situatia curenta cu “my family”] NO NO NO NO NO.

– So… The Sun and the Moon are like… Accounts?

– No, they are veggies.

(?) Lol

IT happens through Control. ( about how they’ve/are been able to read parameters (physiological) from a distance.

->Reconfigurare past future {Poor Time, *sigh*}Β 

Wrote about this in the previous article as well ~


(Spiritual?) [No] Transhuman ~ first heard hints abt this from Albert Ignatenko (Sa fi un fenomen, sau ceva de genul) -_- Bad teachings that look (illusion!) good.

Pretty lights {Tell me lies,tell me sweet little lies)

22. I just don’t want to masturbate anymore. Every “session” traumatizes me.

Layers of trauma. NOT a Staircase, Hippies!

I haven’t been wrong… Once… Since starting this “journey”. MLT ~ Multiple level trickery. How disturbingly and disgustingly SAD. “L e a r n” ~ Ha ~

What a joke.


Heard some guys trying to imply that they don’t have enough “data” yet (through / for analysis). That’s Wrong & who taught them so is wrong as well.

– NOT ENOUGH DATA MY ASS –

GoddessAzra.com launched

Hello, this is the first post on goddessazra.com; All posts until this point I initially put on my blog (until now to be) which is: mmmylittlecorner.blogspot.com
I learned how to ‘bring them here’ from a guide from the guys over at https://www.wpbeginner.com/ ~ Still feel a bit unfamiliarized with WP (I stayed away from wp for YEARS ~ but, here I am) ~

Here’s the latest of my #orgasm videos, more content soon β™₯

Be well ~