Category: podcast

Same.

*
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Placebo, see you at the bitter end, a very dear song of mine.
*******************************
Linkin Park – In the end LYRICS.
It starts with
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn’t even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end
You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this, there’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this, there’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

Playlist with orgasms: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5b6q2JRlw29HaFd2aSvCEKhcVUGp593F

~

.

I dreamed something weird, a guy that I kissed on the cheeks & forehead even though he approached Me to get kissed on the lips… Told me something like… Don’t you wanna get to deal with the real ones, not the made up ones? He was speaking about something akin to Masons..
I said, sad: They are all made up by their STUPID MOTHERS.
Then I remember writing with black ink, My life is full of lies. Then, I woke up, hearing the ticking of the clock at a weird pace.
Be well!
[💋]

Podcast (citesc)

~ Podcastul de azi ~

Am experimentat cu uploadul podcastului pe site direct. Ascultam sa vad cum se aude, dupa ce am postat acest post, si mi-a venit ideea sa fac un mic edit sa spun ca DA, eu ma aud acolo, eu citeam, e vocea mea, blabla. Sincer, nu pot sa cred ca traiesc intr-o lume unde e nevoie de astfel de lamuriri si nu gust nici paranoia nici prostia (nu imi place). As discuta ore in sir* despre subiecte gen: define TU (Eu) ~ Pai tu nu vezi draga ca pana si tu iti dai seama ca e Asta, sau Cealalta chestie, in “actiune”, deci, ia uite, si asta, si asta si asta si asta. DECI CARE TU? =) Eu, unica, inimitabila, si ogramadadealteatribute pe care numai eu le pod duce cum o fac!

*dar nu am cu cine. Nici macar la nivel experimental. Nu sesizez (simt ~ cu putere decizionala asupra ‘conexiunii’) persoana cealalta, fiind impinsa sa nu pot respecta cu adevarat, PE NIMENI!

♥

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Podcasturile pe care le inregistrez sunt disponibile pe Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcasts.

A tale that wasn’t right

A Tale That Wasn’t Right

[Verse 1]

Here I stand all alone
Have my mind turned to stone
Have my heart filled up with ice
To avoid its breakin’ twice

[Verse 2]
Thanks to you, my dear old friend
But you can’t help, this is the end
Of a tale that wasn’t right
I won’t have no sleep tonight

[Chorus]
In my heart, in my soul
I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

[Verse 3]
It’s all right, we’ll stay friends
Trustin’ in my confidence
And let’s say it’s just all right
You won’t sleep alone tonight

[Chorus]
In my heart, in my soul
I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

[Solo: Mike]

[Chorus]
With my heart, with my soul
Some guys cry, you’ve bought and sold
They’ve been strong, young and bold
And they say, “Play this song again”

[Chorus/Outro]
In my heart, in my soul
I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

~~~
Been listening to this song quite a lot on the radio lately, I find it very inspiring ♥
~~~
or
1

bla

WTF.

proof of nothing

worth mentioning no

why do?

No know.

https://www.mediafax.ro/tehnologie/noi-imagini-cu-suprafata-planetei-marte-surprinse-de-catre-instrumentul-cassis-foto-19916510

Poze vechi cu mine

Imi plac nu imi plac nu conteaza; daca iti plac nu ma intereseaza, daca nu, la fel.

*each picture holds a special place in my heart* For I… blabla.

Goddess
Inspiring red
A mask I loved
Hmmm
O da.
Nu simteam nimic.
Mesajul nu a fost inteles. Literele nu erau doar de forma. Invitatie? Hmm… Pentru cine? *wink*
Bani si sanatate. La momentul respectiv nu aveam bani dar era trendy sa se vorbeasca despre financial ruin si findoms, si asta a fost my take on it. Bancnota de 1 dolar si multe carduri goale. DA BINE!
I did ^^ == same shit but wronger. Ahahahahaha.
BUG?
Invoke BUG again?
No.
I simply cannot take this as an answer, or proceeding step in our interaction.
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh
A gentleman was passing by
And he stopped for a drink
As he was dry
[Chorus]:
At the well below the valley oh
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh
My pack is full unto the brim
And if I were to stoop I might fall in
[Chorus]
If your true love was passing by
You’d fill him a drink if he were dry
[Chorus]
She swore by grass, she swore by corn
Her true love had never been born
[Chorus]
He said: Young girl you’re swearing wrong
Six fine children you’ve born
[Chorus]
If you be the man of noble fame
You’ll tell to me the father of them
[Chorus]
There’s two of them by your brother John
At the well below the valley oh
Another two by your uncle Dan
At the well below the valley oh
Another two by your father dear
At the well below the valley oh
Green grows the lily oh
[Chorus]
If you be the man of noble fame
You’ll tell to me what happened to them
[Chorus]
There’s two buried ‘neath the kitchen door
At the well below the valley oh
Another two near the stable door
At the well below the valley oh
Another two just beside the well
At the well below the valley oh
All of them outside the graveyard wall
[Chorus]
If you be the man of noble fame
You’ll tell to me what’ll happen to me
[Chorus]
You’ll be seven years of ringing a bell
At the well below the valley oh
Seven years of burning in hell
At the well below the valley oh
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh
I’ll be seven years of ringing a bell
But the Lord above might save my soul (I don’t think so)
From burning in hell at the well below the valley oh
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh !
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh
Green grows the lily oh
Right among the bushes oh…
Cu colegii din 9B
Waiting for this to hatch, dar nu mai imi place nici un joc de cand sunt atacata pe toate fronturile.
despre videoclipul cu care am inceput acest post.
Am auzit ca inseamna ceva, apoi am auzit ca nu conteaza (explicatie, ca sa nu se inteleaga gresit. Acele cifre arata ba ora, ba minutul la care am postat in live chat. Am avut un gand intuitiv cum ca in anumite calcule/algoritmi, nu se tine cont de ce inseamna cu adevarat acele cifre si sunt folosite la ceva rau). 
Dar conteaza, cand vne vorba de…
Nu stiu sigur
Nu am insinuat nimic decat sa RERERERERE pet tot ce am zis pana acum sub o forma sau alta. 
Daca tu esti 100% cifre si nu stii sigur si imi dai mie durere.
PA.
Daca Pa nu e o optiune.
Atunci? 
><><><>
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Am asistat la chestii mult mai groaznice decat aceste mici neintelegeri, si nu mai vreau 🙂

Ramai cu bine,
💋

I just want to DO something.

PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/Vorbesc-si-citesc-din-Huxley-eprplq

Deci?

Orgasm: https://youtu.be/YeNIQfopXvM oribil, absolut degradant.

Shows in my MFC club: https://share.myfreecams.com/GoddessAzra/recordings

Join for free with this voucher (if it’s been used, you can e-mail me for one if you’d like) https://share.myfreecams.com/v/fad187bd-30ea-4d82-87ed-c76d22f38df5

~

Din jurnal: 02.02.21. Sunt la Biserica. De cum am iesit din bloc, caini. Ciudat. Azi nici macar aici nu e liniste. Greu sa “meditez”. CRUCEA NU E DE DUS! Zic eu, cand aud despre cuvintele prin care au fost exprimate traditiile. Nu stiu ce nu a fost tradus corect. *spiral* ~ ca parte din mecanismul de indoctrinare/usage ~ nu pentru cresterea sufletelor. [Completitudine, Hello?] – Toate cuvintele dor mai devreme sau mai tarziu. Nimic nou. Nu mai suport. Totul e o bataie de joc. Zero sanse reale. Nu vreau sa “roleplay” cu astia. Luminile sunt stinse in biserica. Nu am mai gasit luminile aprinse nici aici nici la Capra de cand am simtit chestiile alea ciudate, beculete – luminite – altfel – capete de oameni 🙁 . Weird feels. I’m very upset. Parca am vorbit degeaba in tot timpul asta… Layerele ce au “cazut” au aratat numai ca era si mai rau/scarbos/gresit. (Chestie in proces de continua reactualizare se pare, in fiecare zi ma mai ‘uimeste’ ceva. Eu raman la toate rece). Folositi. Nu. Nu voi (hahaha) uita niciodata {“esenta” iubirea dorinta pura ♥ ⛈} dar… Nu mai suport sa traiesc insiropata in minciuna si nimic mai mult. Asta nu e Biserica – E Aprozar. – LOL! A trecut pe langa mine si nu m-a “vazut”! M-a inchis in biserica… Degeaba… Tot nu e Liniste. Ce legislatie? Aici e  “God’s Place” – Nici macar sa rad sau sa fiu Curioasa nu mai pot. Ca doar sunt invizibila, nu? Nu exist… Du-te Laura si masturbeaza-te… Hahahaha… Imi e sila de toate motivele etc. pt ca pana acum am simtit doar unpleasantness si secrete… Dialog sincer curmat scurt (repede). Deci… E o eroare serioasa de traducere/judecata… 

Nu vreau sa fac sex in grup cu straini.

Si nici cu cunoscuti.

Asta nu inseamna ca am eu o problema sau ceva de vindecat. Motivele pentru care inca nu intelegeti sunt aceleasi ca si atunci cand mincinuile erau deghizate un pic altfel, oricum e nimic. Eu nimicul asta nu-l mai suport. Nimic nu mai imi place. Real gratefulness and nothing to do with it 🙂 Health wealth and all the nice things that you never seen I (already) have. What I want is not what they want (me to want or whatever….Sunt profund dezgustata.).

Expresivitate? Podcast: https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/Long-talk-epn9b7

Imi da mereu cu eroare cand incerc sa inteleg ca tot ce fac (efort/vointa/gowiththeflow/whatever type of …) e nimic. Intentiile bune adevarate = ascunse. La ce am eu acces = rol jucat mai mult sau mai putin prost dupa modelul real. Si nu traiesc in ani ca sa se imbunatateasca sau whatever rolul sau jucatorul ca apoi sa aud alte scuze din diverse categorii pe care oricum nu le vad pentru ca #Occult used wrong (de ce? cum de? e imposibil de calculat, TREBUIE sa fie despre altceva.). Imi e atat de scarba sa ma cobor la nivelul lor si nu e din cauza ca am o perspectiva limitata de Laura 🙂 Repet – ma deranjeaza ca imi aduci asta in vedere, dar simt ca nici tu nu esti lasat sa vezi cum nici eu, minciuni peste minciuni. Nimic care implica eu masturbandu-ma in nici un fel nu a dus si nu va duce nicaieri, e doar o pierdere de… Ce? Timp si mai ce? Timp sau ce? Ce???? Sa facem spatiu pentru ce? TOT CE FACEM E SA ne facem nevoile in el, zero respect, taine uitate, calcam pe tot. Nu au avut dreptate doar miroseau frumos, ‘inteleptii’ intrupati pe care eu i-am vazut ca oameni si nu am pus asta o secunda la indoiala cand interactionam cu ei. – NOT MY PROBLEM.

It’s rape, not AWEthenticity, with juices flowing and Enjoyers

Black cock guy: I mean that women who are sexually frustrated can find great pleasure in having their ‘pipes’ cleaned.

Me: WTF

Black cock guy: usually pipes are in the pussy and ass.

Black cock guy: clearing of the pipes can clear all tensions as well 

Black cock guy: it’s good for the mind, body and soul

Me: ♥

Nu sunt frustrata. Nu am mancat niciodata. Nu incerca sa iti imaginezi cum se simte sau ce inseamna. Calculeaza, te rog. Multumesc. Nu de la tine pot capata ce am nevoie, dar daca calculezi, macar e o sansa sa ma lasi in pace, sa nu ne mai certam atat degeaba. Timp pierdut, nimic, nimic. Tot ce ‘iese’ e acelasi cacat (nimic), aceleasi zambete false, aceleasi minciuni.

Am ajuns intr-un punct in care imi vine sa plang cand ascult cantece care imi placeau, nu pentru ca m-au vrajit ci pentru ca stiu/simt/ ca nu e nici o sansa sa experimentez (experience) ce am nevoie/ ce vreau/ la ce sunt buna/ pentru ce sunt facuta, etc. considerand circumstantele actuale aka tot ce imi amintesc din viata asta, indiferent de ce invat, nimic nu se schimba in ordinea interioara. That’s why I am so dissappointed. Not hopeless. Way worse, while I do have heaps and bounds of what would be read as hope, So it’s not hope+ that I need 🙂

Nu mai suport sa aud cuvintele goale. Toti indragostitii mint, pentru ca e vorba de altceva, si nu e vina mea ca citesc gresit, m-au folosit pentru modul meu special de a ‘citi’ ~ asta nu ii face pe aia reali. WTF. Nu mai suport. Nu mai imi place nimic, nu am parte de nici o alinare cu adevarat, imi e scarba cand ma fac astia sa chicotesc automat. That’s not having a good time. Cheia nu e sa asteptam pentru nimic. Astepti = esti mintit si profita de tine.

De ce sa o mai fac inca o data, iar, iar, mereu cand am facut-o si am simtit ce simt a fost degeaba, nici o scuza nu e valabila, demonstrat deja. Nu mai suport. Este otravitor, nu am vazut nici o diferenta pas corect tot ce vad = insultator.

E prea mult timp de cand tot fac asta degeaba, that’s why I’m so alarmed and giving off some ‘off’ signals. No other reason! Cumulative => The same shit.

Cand a fost cutremur, ma masturbam ma simteam oribil si nimic nu s-a schimbat de atunci desi unele minciuni au fost impacate (pe dracu impacate, nu s-a intamplat nimic decat umilinta – BUG? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ~ No. – Nu exista bugs in sufletele oamenilor iar al meu a fost sfasiat non stop de atunci. Nu sunt o masina iar corpul meu e ceva mai mult decat o simpla maCHinarie pentru sufletul meu, nu e treaba mea sa aflu pentru ca ma mint non stop cu fiecare ocazie la fiecare nivel, il bat si nu primesc recompensa pentru care am inceput sa ma joc, pe intelesul incapatanatilor ` stiti voi, nu e vina mea..)

Absolut nimic. Nici macar o data de atunci si tot prin ce-am trecut nu am primit ce trebuie. E inadmisibil.

Imi e scarba de tot : ce numarati voi, la mine nu se pune.
Va rog nu mai imi dati durere pentru asta, nu programatorii vostri au dreptate, DACA AVEAU , calcule simple: nu era asa, acum, ‘aici’. SIMPLU! ~ https://youtu.be/E8Js39Hoyec ~

I HAVE NO ONE TO SURRENDER* TO.
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT SURRENDERING.
Ti se pare ca ma victimizez? (This is no self defense) ~ RE citeste, te rog, Executantule. E un adevar in care sunt incarcerata care nu prea are legatura cu Adevarul din cauza celor care actioneaza in moduri similare tie, si nu, nu va blamez, vreau doar sa part ways, sunt luni de zile de cand scriu despre asta, si tot ce aud de la voi e galagie. Cica linistea era printre setarile voastre initiale, deci ar trebui sa stiti deja 🙂 ~ * sa surrender nu are nici o legatura cu fakeshitthunderTrigger “proof” – (*giggles* ~ NEVER proved anything, regardless of what some fish are singing. some or the? I DON’T WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS 😉 ~ I have my reasons.) – SORRY!
Lips.
blabla
Ce bine ca nu mi se vede privirea din poza asta.
Scaun intre picioare.

Sa traiesc degeaba ca proasta sa ma masturbez la diverse ‘cues’ si sa pun asta pe net nu inseamna ca I surrender to anyone. Nu este ce am nevoie si e imposibil sa fie ceva care contrinuie la solutia de care avem atata nevoie, fiecare in felul nostru.

Sa traiesc degeaba ca proasta sa ma masturbez la diverse ‘cues’ si sa pun asta pe net nu inseamna ca I surrender to anyone. Imi face rau si nimic altceva. Probabil si altora dar nu sunt lasata sa vad.
Te rog sa nu ma contrazici, am facut destule pentru voi, nu s-a vazut nimic. Asa va fi si de aici incolo. Esti mintit si folosit. Nu stiu ce inseamna Be a Hero. Eu nu am ce face. Nu vreau sa mai simt chestiile alea, nu mai pot sa traiesc fara sa visez, ma sufoc, nu mai vreau sa ii constientizez, nici macar in zilele in care ‘imi dau cu lingurita’. E umilitor, vreau sa plec, nu am unde/cu ce. 😉
Nu cred in varianta cu negresa care stie ea ce stie pentru ca am aflat ca oamenii aia nu exista 🙂
M-au folosit si cam atat, restul detaliilor, sunteti toti folositi, nimic altceva, orice detalii care ies dintr-un evantai care se deschide nu inseamna nimic, nu e variabila acolo. Sunt niste setari. Imi e scarba.

I have no words anymore.

 ~ When they want me to imagine ~whatever/faces/celebrities/etc~ that’s not love ~ Thats not me experiencing something else {experiencing the BeLovedness through ipostaze ;)} but the BRAINWASH of the False teachers {memories from my past~not my unhealed psyche, idiots} aka bad limited incomplete and plafonat, iluzoriu, degeaba, dead end, zambetele care nu inseamna nici fericire nici sanatate. Masturbated earlier, was horrible. Made some inquires, got only more confusion. I suspect everything at this point on the psychic telly, key is not in these terms, never will be. Ceva defunct. That’s why. Antiteza, I want to break free – Who wants to live forever. NOT MY mess to solve si nu pentru ca sunt L, repet, ati fost mintiti,eu sunt in continuare mintita in fiecare zi/clipire, mersi ca imi arati ce rezultat primesti dar nu e corect. Ia-l pe S si du-te eu nu vreau sa am NIMIC de-a face cu nimeni care are astfel de scuze si nu e vba ca nu am rabdare. Nu vreau sa mai continui astia isi bat joc de mine si nimic mai mult asa ceva innebuneste pe oricine e dovedit stiintifc. Nu sunt aici ca sa testez limite sa faceti noi tipuri de potiuni ca sa ii folositi pe altii doar asta am vazut in ultimii ani accelerat din 2018 incoace ma doare prea rau nu am nimic de facut nimeni nu vorbeste cu adevarat. Cei care vb = ceva casual, despre amintiri, si unii se mai si prefac ca sunt altceva ce nu le-as permite niciodata sa fie (aproape de mine) ~ Nu mai suport

ma simt violata non stop. Eu, nu parti din mine. Eu toata! Cand ma prefac ca nu vad e doar pentru bilantul intern, supravietuire, parametri, etc Sunt mult prea trista nu mai vreau sa ii aud. In fiecare zi doar asta aud. Nu ai cum sa iti bati joc asa de ‘nevoile’ unui suflet. Nu stimularea imaginatiei e combustibil(combustibilul la care ma refeream), aia pot sa o fac si singura [parmetri].. M-am saturat, fiecare zi e un cosmar sau un cacat deghizat si nimic mai mult. Nu mai suport. ALL ZOLOLOGY = DEATH. Daca T nu te lasa sa vezi, NU E VINA MEA, NIMIC din ce as putea eu face vreodata nu poate face nici o diferenta. NU ma intereseaza Superman ca Ubermensch. Nu mai vreau sa continui filosofeala fara de respect pentru nimeni. Daca e un bug, rezolva-l si apoi vorbim. Ce mi se intampla nu ar trebui sa se intample punct.

30.01.21. Nu stiu ce sa scriu. Nu mai suport sa vad copii pe strada (Nu stiu ce sunt)… Copii si pungi de cumparaturi. Un el care face copii cu alta … ??? (Ce treaba sa am eu cu el? Sa il ajut? Voi sunteti seriosi? Ce poveste de kkt e asta prostie si victimizare) *** M-ar lasa dracului in pace daca ar fi pe bune*** Cineva care “trebuie salvat” ~ salvage… scraps… Imitatie… Imprumut vs. furt (politia nu face nimic) _ Masti si iar masti… An avalanche of clothes. What drives me; what I seek… Perverted… Speak the language of love… Am invatat pasi mici sa gandesc in scene pornografice… Ceva nu e Truth la treaba asta… Continuum… Harvest… Not death… Same thing as before… lies… Masks… Disturbed – The sound of silence.

Masturbation and orgasm stuff

Am fost live mai devreme pe twitch periscope dlive etc (with restream.io)
Am incercat sa vorbesc cu voi despre ce mi-a mai trecut prin minte cand vine vba de toata aceasta mascarada stupida.
Video:
Din jurnal:
1.12.20 Woke up with hangover state that passed quickly. Neighbor noise and headache. Had weird dream. My paternal grandpa couldn’t last long, treatment wasn’t working… Wait, why did I hear abt all this? Dunno. When I went to bed I was quite sad. Last session on MFC was interesting but…Again. Felt as if me & who I was chatting with don’t properly understand eachother. What is “Cam” for these ppl. “Open my cam” doesn’t mean clicky to see dick footage 🙁 —– AFTER ALL THIS TIME? Please remember me / Dante’s Prayer ~ Last night, some lovely interaction that I’d rather enjoy (more) not masturbating because… I don’t know… It’s smth else, in essence… I see the beauty on the other side (no bridge) ~ but… smth above my / their brainwash… I think 2day I finally manage to “settle in ” -here- ~ sad about all the weird calculations / escape routes of fools / dunno how to call them. I am sad abt the job situations, would’ve been awesome 2 be @ the crystal shop but… Then again… That’s just me. Weirdness. What is Romania? Lalala, noise. Laaaaaaa
2.12.20 3:33 a.m.
I found the cooooooin (backup done – ha!) ~ Rly, ♥ HaHa. The coconut lip balm though…🌢 I rly rly liked that one! Si pana din Tineretului… Si… Nop, my memories aren’t urs :p.
-after I woke up- feeling v bad 2day especially cause of ppl wanting me to masturbate orgasm. V down. Have no clue what todo. I don’t want to partake in the sickness anymore. The more days that pass, the sicker it gets. The thoughts / suppositions / imagination requests. Why do anything. If who can make a diff chooses 2 keep lying to us all? …….. I despise masturbating, regardless of what I think about and what these guys show me. We’re not the same. They’re not superior 2 me as 2 impose their ways upon me. It’s been too tiering and humiliating andNO BREAK. Every day pestered. I wanna be alone for a while. Go away. You can’t do this 2 ppl // allow seeing what happens. The tape with it’s all an illusion is only useful when it’s calculated so… Ha…Ha…Ha…Leave me alone… You’ve been paid 2 …………… me
-NO FRIEND-
💔
I don’t know what they are but fools… | ….. Nothing. Zero. They calculated “me” wrong. Every day I suffer because of this. The insults, the… everything The PAID (upon) making me 🗦🗧appear as smth of theirs so they can continue. I said it every time. It’s a lie, it’s brainwash. It’s not LOVE. I don’t care the DYNAMIX look good in graphs. Those aren’t ppl that they put me up with / against.
-WRONG-
No sexuality
Just LIES.
It’s been too long…
I don’t have the freedom to try to learn to see this it’s been too long under diff. light. Same shits pester me, no real help for what it could be like. Wanking, no love – poison. No money, inquisitors – constant noise / pain. The truth is scattered everywhere but not out there. I can’t talk to these ppl as if I’m a new version. They don’t even know why they are like that / their faults. Nothing good achievable through this changings of mechanisms that’s same thing. No hand 2 help. Making my thoughts smoother when I masturbate IS NOT HELP! IS LYING!
They don’t know the truth about themselves. In trying 2 show them… I only achieve to wear myself out. It’s not me who can make a difference 4 them [dogs] -> All zolology = Death = all dead ends; yet I still see much identification with whatever zololological. Chirp, meow, boom. Zero!
ME>AI {Because I’m more, mooore, mooooore]
I’m too sad. I can’t believe how pathetic my life is and how I’m constantly treated as stupid, humiliated, despite all I tried / did. FFS: ur solutiond don’t make save space; emptiness. 0 .
~pulled out the 5 of wands today. I can remember so many similar days/ settings in which I felt weird winds and got the same answer… What’s exciting for me? … What’s good soul food 4 me?… If everything I thought I see is smth else… Cute friends unreachable… Security… For what?… So I can be upset about what I hear? Or feel… I don’t know… Not knowing what’s that that I like or seeing it identified wrongly.🐚
So long…For nothing…
~~~
Pictures now 🙂
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Details from rose ~
Guess my favorite and get a small prize for me oh wait that already happened 😛
💨
SNowberries ~
Face n leds.
T-Rex at high altitude in my room.

I listened to some Opeth earlier a bit and now I’m cry.

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🗢