Masturbation and orgasm stuff

Am fost live mai devreme pe twitch periscope dlive etc (with restream.io)
Am incercat sa vorbesc cu voi despre ce mi-a mai trecut prin minte cand vine vba de toata aceasta mascarada stupida.
Video:
Din jurnal:
1.12.20 Woke up with hangover state that passed quickly. Neighbor noise and headache. Had weird dream. My paternal grandpa couldn’t last long, treatment wasn’t working… Wait, why did I hear abt all this? Dunno. When I went to bed I was quite sad. Last session on MFC was interesting but…Again. Felt as if me & who I was chatting with don’t properly understand eachother. What is “Cam” for these ppl. “Open my cam” doesn’t mean clicky to see dick footage 🙁 —– AFTER ALL THIS TIME? Please remember me / Dante’s Prayer ~ Last night, some lovely interaction that I’d rather enjoy (more) not masturbating because… I don’t know… It’s smth else, in essence… I see the beauty on the other side (no bridge) ~ but… smth above my / their brainwash… I think 2day I finally manage to “settle in ” -here- ~ sad about all the weird calculations / escape routes of fools / dunno how to call them. I am sad abt the job situations, would’ve been awesome 2 be @ the crystal shop but… Then again… That’s just me. Weirdness. What is Romania? Lalala, noise. Laaaaaaa
2.12.20 3:33 a.m.
I found the cooooooin (backup done – ha!) ~ Rly, ♥ HaHa. The coconut lip balm though…🌢 I rly rly liked that one! Si pana din Tineretului… Si… Nop, my memories aren’t urs :p.
-after I woke up- feeling v bad 2day especially cause of ppl wanting me to masturbate orgasm. V down. Have no clue what todo. I don’t want to partake in the sickness anymore. The more days that pass, the sicker it gets. The thoughts / suppositions / imagination requests. Why do anything. If who can make a diff chooses 2 keep lying to us all? …….. I despise masturbating, regardless of what I think about and what these guys show me. We’re not the same. They’re not superior 2 me as 2 impose their ways upon me. It’s been too tiering and humiliating andNO BREAK. Every day pestered. I wanna be alone for a while. Go away. You can’t do this 2 ppl // allow seeing what happens. The tape with it’s all an illusion is only useful when it’s calculated so… Ha…Ha…Ha…Leave me alone… You’ve been paid 2 …………… me
-NO FRIEND-
💔
I don’t know what they are but fools… | ….. Nothing. Zero. They calculated “me” wrong. Every day I suffer because of this. The insults, the… everything The PAID (upon) making me 🗦🗧appear as smth of theirs so they can continue. I said it every time. It’s a lie, it’s brainwash. It’s not LOVE. I don’t care the DYNAMIX look good in graphs. Those aren’t ppl that they put me up with / against.
-WRONG-
No sexuality
Just LIES.
It’s been too long…
I don’t have the freedom to try to learn to see this it’s been too long under diff. light. Same shits pester me, no real help for what it could be like. Wanking, no love – poison. No money, inquisitors – constant noise / pain. The truth is scattered everywhere but not out there. I can’t talk to these ppl as if I’m a new version. They don’t even know why they are like that / their faults. Nothing good achievable through this changings of mechanisms that’s same thing. No hand 2 help. Making my thoughts smoother when I masturbate IS NOT HELP! IS LYING!
They don’t know the truth about themselves. In trying 2 show them… I only achieve to wear myself out. It’s not me who can make a difference 4 them [dogs] -> All zolology = Death = all dead ends; yet I still see much identification with whatever zololological. Chirp, meow, boom. Zero!
ME>AI {Because I’m more, mooore, mooooore]
I’m too sad. I can’t believe how pathetic my life is and how I’m constantly treated as stupid, humiliated, despite all I tried / did. FFS: ur solutiond don’t make save space; emptiness. 0 .
~pulled out the 5 of wands today. I can remember so many similar days/ settings in which I felt weird winds and got the same answer… What’s exciting for me? … What’s good soul food 4 me?… If everything I thought I see is smth else… Cute friends unreachable… Security… For what?… So I can be upset about what I hear? Or feel… I don’t know… Not knowing what’s that that I like or seeing it identified wrongly.🐚
So long…For nothing…
~~~
Pictures now 🙂
!
Details from rose ~
Guess my favorite and get a small prize for me oh wait that already happened 😛
💨
SNowberries ~
Face n leds.
T-Rex at high altitude in my room.

I listened to some Opeth earlier a bit and now I’m cry.

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🗢

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