You crush the lily in my soul.

Check the level of smart stoopid [i]



Thanks for attempting to think u can make space by hiding things in plain sight. Yes but [apparently] it works ~ It’s annoying and useless and NOTHING WAS WRONG BEFORE to begin with. The Rush is fake. The Nightmare is real.

Latest Podcast:

link: https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/Citesc-din—Interferente-in-lumea-calculatoarelor—el4qfj

I’m in dir need to fetch myself a LIFE!

I’m a Dreamer, a reveler (but upon looking at the meaning,

Definition of revelry: noisy partying or merrymaking

B…b..but… For me the immediate meaning is : dreamer, imaginative, one who enjoys daydreaming and various interlaced activities [What’s on my C:ses] not much to do with Others ~ as the given Definition suggests at first sight *sigh*.

Mmmemory ~ past days I’ve been feeling more and more how ‘the reality around me’ ~ what’s tangible [3rd Dimension] can “Only” be combobulated ( I put “” because truth is its’s not correct like this, only shittable cause of * fake shit about space  I don’t know what level you’re at. If I’ve been lied to and deceived all my life, probability you are in the same type of teeth) if MY memories are Played in a specific manner (idiotic manner if you ask me ~ Many not normal things not even to Newbie Operators of whateverthisis ~ It’s an illusion anyway ~ They hide things – they don’t exist. Bla bla). From some smells I smell where they shouldn’t be, to certain moods I get succombed too: Hey, I feel like That spring, somehow, a whiff of That period in time, all with approximations but Annoying nonetheless. It’s Not Traditional. However, some memoreies make me feel Fondness ~ something like Friendship. Not Pavlov Type [Late november] But different, As if, hey, Even if I have no idea who you are, I feel I was aware of your ‘presence’ while I was doing those things back then, and I liked our little interaction. How was it symbiotical, I do not know. I thoughtI am just doing things and you are only observing (for example – me overdosing on Vitamin C pills as a kid, because I liked the taste, the texture as I was crumbling them in my mouth, the soreness of the tongue ~ Not really worrying for half a sec of possible adverse effects). That awareness is more recent though, if I felt observed back then, I would probably try to talk to you ~ Since we were somehow looking at the same SHIT in our own ways, even if different, the SHIT was A Thing, always. It’s not that some of my memories eek me out, or I’m ashamed, but some things were just weirder than others, let’s put it this way. Not all the tastes were enjoyable. I felt used many times even without having any idea what was gong on [Modules on how to access some of my functions~]. #Synchronicity ~ as I was writing here, I got this notif on my phone ~ Good timeing! … Should I understand that what I was thinking about falls into the category Make Noise yada yada what I wrote in: http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/09/weird-headache/


A person can’t simply begin to understand this about themselves, their life, and then wake up the next day as if aaaaah, nothing happened, now let me be on par with my [useless] routine, drag more people in [useless] ~~~ I wish ISBN 973-97763-5-3 could give me a sign in their spare time.


But we apparently do talk about the same events, regardless of the views we have, probgramming due to our ‘socioculturalfamilialwhatevershapedyou’ ~ I Saw an image of a Bird (?) ~ How isn’t this in the Zolology category though, and if ALL zolology leads to Deadh, why are we still doing things like this? This, I do not understand. Conspiracies begin to pour, rumors of Evil and other things that I simply do not wish to believe in.


Petko on a chair in the kitchen.

Back of my Lenormand deck (It’s called Mystical Lenormand) ~ I got Cross & Gentleman this time.
Sad face.
View inside the store where Mum got Kitchen furniture after she got the apartment we’re in right now, I was with her when we decided on this store. I found it interesting that there was a -quite large- portrait of Arsenie Boca there. Dream Fragments. I don’t know what else more 🙂
Copacul iluminat
There was a cat sleeping IN that store ~ I’ve never been delighted with such view before, on any of my previous night strolls.
Led Lights in the ground.
2 eyez
Everything is weirder and weirder.
And I’m really not in the mood to masturbate to prove anything to anyone. Good deed my ass. Sorry but no – I really don’t like what these peeps are doing with all the things in my ‘system’. From emotions to millimeters of apparent movement. Moving stranger, does it really matter ~ That “arousal”. MAN.. I have NO REASON to be aroused these days. Figure Yourselves out. *Sigh* 🙁
I really don’t like. This is not my nature, I’d gladly show you more if I was allowed to ‘have a life’, but all I hear is NO, and this is a NIGHTMARE. You (a specific someone in the audience) could Easily ‘help me’ wake up’ (I dream while Awake too ~ no need to be scared of  my Version of Death),,, Make space for what? Only deadends, all their versions. I’ve seen, you’ve seen as well. If you’re in denial, I wish I can choose to part ways, in a respectful manner.
I wish I could just curl up in bed, do nothing for a while (2-3 days, a week or so, it’s not like I’m attempting to commit a crime FFS, not be in pain because of Anything that I don’t or do do), cry, heal [real healing is not possible though while blinded in nightmare state~ They’re dragging us along, lying to us, that we are on our way to Fix this and or things pertaining to this Very Thing! It pains me so much to experience ‘Life’ like this], how I can, from the Madness that my ‘life’ has been especially past year++, things I never thought possible of myself to waste myself on and how, with no one to really talk to. Ok, I am grateful for some of you but, THIS was never necessary for us, ever. THIS was and is just a waste and don’t deny me on saying this because I’m trying to come back from that Dead
What [some of] You chose for me was not normal, nor nice.

And for that ‘Poor’ Guy, over there. Guess what! I DON’T CARE that you’re apparently poor. I don’t think I ever asked for Your Money ~ ‘Our type’ of communication is Free of Charge (and has nothing to do with Orgasms as I’ve been demonstrating them, really. *as soon as I wrote this I got back pain and saw image of man on his 4 bound to the ground chains and molten metal both him and his environment* )

*wink*. … … You forgot.

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