4.04. All these lies so they can lie some more. Woke up in pain again. Prompted to “come” again. Know this (if you hear what I talk in my head) 1. Not everything you hear is my voice (very annoying) 2. I won’t be rude! I’m just sick of their lies 2 me. [2day; weather; “mom”; dream; fake politeness] I don’t know what movie’s you’re stuck on watchin’; but mine is a HOAX; And it’s not that I want to defend myself (I don’t know how to do that properly) I’m just VERY SICK of the blatant lies 2 my Face; As if I have no heart… << But I showed you already… Why don’t you believe me? Why do I have to do it again? And then they expect me to be “normal” (according to) fake (data) numbers (your movies) … What about my kind of “normal” ? ~ I can’t even afford a free trial period ~ Mwah >>
06.09. I am in love… If I wasn’t, I’d still think the same about all the sickness. The more I “see” the more “confirmations” I get / but I never asked 4 / needed them. It hurts like hell. Whisper – creatures forming a net of gossip infested cloud – I’m surrounded ~ The ones I like & I ~ can’t reach eachother ~ Tricks!
How can I trust? Trust someone I can touch and touch someone I can trust.
I “let” (as if I had any choice – ha) these guys in the most personal / intimate corners of my mind and… To what avail? Programmed 2 let eachother down. Evil grins smirking spark in “safe distance” ~ ILLusion ~ game of mirrors – not my shit – bleah.
Bye 4 now.