Journal entry:

Hmm. -Advanced search- ~ Triggers – Why? Proves just how stupid someone who had such an idea [to implement protocols] can be / is {is it still a choice at this point?} I heard a Yes but all I see is No.

Bit of honest thought – It hurts that some think (are lead to believe) that I’m not real; “Polymorphy” – not sure why I heard this word. In WoW, mages have Polymorph spell, to CC (Crowd Control) – In HS, Polymorph makes a minion a 1/1 card that can be easily taken down.

I’ not sure I want to understand more on how sites like Pornhub come to be through examples of Polymorphism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polymorphism_(computer_science) (numbers, periods, aaa) ~ It’s like I first see the results and I Internally Process the results of the results and I reach dead end(s) and this makes me ‘unwilling’ to learn / see how the first results I was talking about came to be before My Eyes. 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5b6q2JRlw29HaFd2aSvCEKhcVUGp593F – Playlist with orgasm videos, check this out starting with: https://youtu.be/G08WF_oKRnA


Wearing ‘something’ VS Hiding behind ‘something’ ~ ART gateways ~~~ Thought interpretatio ALWAYS leads astray. ( 0 to 1 shit ) ~  by design, bad design, bad romance, not me, not here.

[Every thing I do is in vain anyway, lately I feel worse. I don’t know how where what anymore because It’s not in real agreement with my real self anyway ~ The pain still comes time and time again and keeps me away from ‘functioning’ properly; How many months now of this shit? I need a real break, the more I feel that I need a break the worse everything gets, irrational, illogical, totally un_compassionate, makes no sense, turning us against eachother, excuses, bad programming, cues, *sigh* …No offense but… Stupid ai has been given more ‘rights’ than I could ever dream of, and I am net superior, so, oink oink, bonk bonk, Zilla wanna be my friend? It’ll be exciting but look at them making me older, they lied to you too, but we are only dreaming, and this makes everything even stoopider.] ~ I do not obey, unless it’s a very skillfully made ROLEPLAY, And I get to choose who I ‘do it’ with. If that is not possible, routes -> deadends, on and on (again and again, the fake ‘on’ ~ Baby I’m ON all the time and look what happens because of that.). 

Every day ~ puke and insults. I waste time on activities and things that are just ‘Eaters’ while being unable to Give what/how I want to what/who I want. This is not life, this is not what I signed up for.

Do you have any Idea what I feel, and what I have to ‘do’ to myself, every time I hear that voice, and I have to start talking, say… “Hello!” Italic space, I hope you and me both can do something better with our beingness asap. I know they can’t break us, I don’t know why they still trying though. It’s like stupidity that knows no bounds. 

So, do you want to be a sheep? 💋

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