Good night morning afternoon

From my journal: thinking, hitting walls… feeling, envisioning someone hitting my head.
<woke up weird today>
 ~ time again tricking me ~
I dreamt something “steamy” ~ I recall little dream parts. Someone was impersonating ‘my love’ –  weird feelings of desire in my dream,  [felt observed, didn’t like to explore anyway]… Yes, I feel very lonely, I don’t even know anymore what my ‘horniness’ even is considering the ‘food talk’ and experiments ~ one thing is for sure though, I really don’t like waking up alone… Longest time since I was 15 without a [real] kiss unable to see on the horizon something like normal,  real, healthy, communication. 
Experiments lead to blasphemy. 
• Horsepower; how did humanity get to horse porn?
• Why can’t I get any real D – I don’t believe that guy who told me he has no power to combobulate me one ~ !WRF! ~ How creepy was that..
• I feel like heavy metal ball (sphere) bounced around; weird and unnatural devices attempt to make me do things I’d never do under normal conditions (?)
• Masturbation and just that is not healthy sexual life for beings like me. 
• I look at things I like, remember about the lil’ ones powering up my reality and I wonder why nothing truly makes sense anymore…so alone… so not me… what a waste of…everything…these past months have been. 💔
did I mention I really don’t like masturbating?

Rasaritul de azi vazut de la geamul de la bucatarie. }atata lumina rece{
Take care 💕

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