I don’t have anything to say wright now. Not in the mood of refurbishing from my past sayings just for the sake of saking {I find that annoying at best, morally questionable @ wrst} ~ Everything I do is still in vain ~ My ‘situation’ is getting worse as the days go by ~ on all planes πŸ™‚ [Yeah I know, it’s an Illusion anyway ~ But unless I get to actually TALK with someone about this & more, have a friend, have a real chance at a real life; everything IS in vain] ~ After every Genuine ‘thing’ I put -out there- I find how I’m welcomed with More Mockery and things that I label under the Category Humiliation anyway, so. No hint of real understatement ( ephemeral doesn’t count here ~ ) ~ So here are some new-ish pictures. I don’t know what to say, but this: I am profoundly disappointed. *wink*


I Hope you realize what you’re doing, Just as I’m trying to ~ Pings sent your way ~ If you’re worth ‘it’ – the time (You can’t make up for the lost time ~ buy back, etc ~ as I’ve read from a book). – I was never allowed to really choose what I do with Mine. A little reminder for the spears that hear whatever they’re programmed to translate wrong by the shitface wrong Design ‘meant to’ (??? rofl) Overwrite God.

Harm none! [Doc, you sure you know what you’re doing? Cause mirroring that “If I had a real Choice I wouldn’t be doing things this way” ~ doesn’t ring the shit from a bell to me.]

~ Be well ~

Categorized as stuff



Hello. I am still baffled (I can’t believe my eyes like ~) about what I’ve seen lately in the ‘Media’ around me in RE: to ‘dogs’ & all. After all this time and many traumatizing masturbation experiences, despite the mutual conclusion that Zolology is Death, I still don’t get all the fuss about dogs, fish & co considering it takes Light BEINGS to combobulate even what I see on the window. [Possibly false light which I don’t know what is](?) ~ Speed ~ “sex”(?) ~ ‘things’ I see. WTF. WTF. Very humiliated lately, from minor lil pesky things to downright ‘crazy’ type of ‘brought to my attention’ in ways that I would never think about myself ~ I’m very sad.

TBS Satsuma
TBS Brazil Nut

Hello.. I’m alright, you?
Why are you telling me this?
*raises eyebrow*
Gosh, we don’t even know eachother…
What do you expect? I don’t want to roleplay as your sister .. if that’s what you’re after…
You can tell me about it here.
I don’t know what to say, this really happen to you or is it like a dream of yours?
Thanks for the details, sounded just like movie scenes I could see.
No room for misinterpretation, right?
Wait, I’m not interested in such details.
You have a way with words, I must admit. Tell me about what you wanted to tell me about.
I’ll try to remember what you said about honesty.
Ok now I’m sure you don’t even have a dick.
Or at least none that I know of.
And you know what’s worse? No video footage or picture could convince me otherwise.
Look I’m a human alright?
Army having a dick means one thing mainly. For you it might mean something completely different. I don’t want confusion like this
For me* not army, lol
Naughty voice to text thing…
I don’t even know what to say to that, this conversation is beyond weird.
Maybe I just don’t care about your dick. I just want to make sure that I avoid as much misinfo as possible
Sexual being… Are we all? Sexual healing… What about that?
Ppl don’t want to admit their trauma, so they can heal. And the ones that want to heal, are not allowed to.
Me? First I still need to understand some things, some things are so deeply ingrained into my memories that I can’t really see what happened.. hmmm. About orgasms and such. I’ve learnt all I know about sex from what I’ve read or seen on screens… Apparently that was wrong. I am
I’m not sure you want to know about that though.
I have something special… When it comes to all this… I want to learn to put that to good use.
And I can’t if I still have to do things based on my old programming.
You can ask me anything if you’d like to know details.
Before I saw any porn, I’ve read articles in magazines/books πŸ™‚
it happened through masturbation
In the shower :))

I wouldn’t like that, personally πŸ˜›
DId she ever know?
Anything else?
So far this whole thing ~ where do you want to get with this?
Do you feel any better now that you’ve told me about this? πŸ˜›
Was curious, that’s why. I still don’t know what to say about your story though.
Sounds a bit off to me, as if, fragments from a dream of sorts.
Alright πŸ˜›
– not interested –
I don’t remember what I was thinkinking of, probably tried my best not to think about anything, I remember I thought it might interfere with the process, haha.
I’m programmed to have orgasms only if I think about oral sex ~ however, I do not enjoy that in real life so….
both, depends on how I felt like…
Why does it even matter
No. I didn’t feel like moaning….. Surprised? wtf Thinking about my first orgasm, I remember that it was very underwhelming, but saying that is unfair, for I had no idea (and I still don’t know for sure) what a TEAMWORK that was ~ I was learning with Others what’s happening, it
wait whole text didnt appear as I wrote it.
it was like our project, together, even though I thought that I’m all alone, and I was ok with that ~ I was not. We were learning together ‘what’s happening’, somehow based on how I imagined things, based on the Wrong stuff that I’ve read ‘to learn from’ about sex, orgasm, etc.
with others? I am a Goddess. Aware of different parts of myself, even if I can’t clearly see.
It’s Trauma, for all involved. ~
Wrong Teachings can only lead to Wrong (Bad / traumatic, etc) Outcomes… *sigh*
I don’t know for sure what you want to know, but main idea is what I said earlier, I ‘thought’ it has to be a certain way based on what I understood from what I’ve read / seen.
Not sure ‘qualify’ is the word I’d use in this context, lol ~ And also, what’s not clear from what I already said? Trauma from mind control (through Bad media ~ Wrong teachings).
Not knowing the truth about oneself (!)
Programmed to have orgasms only if I think of oral ~ I don’t know. Evil people chose that for me πŸ™‚
I don’t believe in Evil though ~
I don’t know what more details you wanna know about
The fact that I don’t like it, should be enough for you to understand. I’m here to have a good time with the ppl I chat with..I don’t know who the ‘Evil ones’ are, All is but a Dream, anyway, I don’t know how they did it ~ If this sounds confusing, know that I am confused as well
The way I’ve been programmed when it comes to anything -sex- related started in early childhood, and more layers of bad programming at each ‘life stage’, as I grew up… πŸ™‚

Leaving this here for no future research: ~=”” one=”” of=”” my=”” #spirit=”” guides=”” told=”” me=”” that,=”” strong=”” vs=”” bold=”” has=”” to=”” do=”” with=”” the=”” ‘mobile’=”” aspect=”” things=”” {in=”” this=”” whole=”” immovable=”” combobulatonated=”” ‘nature’=”” (?)}=”” upon=”” search,=”” i=”” stumbled=”” that=”” article.=”” a=”” bitter=”” smile=”” later=”” and=”” salute=”” in=”” appreciatio=”” some=”” fellow=”” (lil’ones)=”” hard=”” workerz=”” β™₯=”” what=”” waste=”” time.=”” bye.<=””>

Add title

β€’ Coming out (of) the light (dark) of day / We got many moons that are deep at play / So I keep an eye on the shadow’s smile / To see what it has to say / You and I both know / Everything must go away / Ah, what do you say? β€’ RHCP

Lies, echoes and dust (not dust in the wind though)

β€’ There’s no reason to keep repeating… I don’t like it… But, I don’t like having orgasms / what’s happening. It’s not that I don’t want to be benevolent, but I don’t have with Who, considering how my reality is combobulated / the circumstances, the appearances. Through ALL the “nicknames” (Accounts?) that are interacting with me online… Good voices (Good voices NEVER “Take over”~) cat’t speak. Only calculated BAD (mindless, unaware, not authentic). I “am” trapped but I don’t feel so (~illusion).

It’s mind boggling to give Alpha Numerical replies over and over and over again


It’s against my own (and Normal/Moral) principles of Communication. The more I masturbate, the worse it gets. And everything I do is (still) in vain.

Categorized as stuff

Honest thought

I don’t want to write today. I should’t even be writing this.

Un avertisment ~

Nu stiu de ce am simtit sa pun acel titlu, insa da…

21.08. Ce bataie de joc…No offense (ca deja a inceput sa ma doara capul) dar… Nu. [Vis-a-vis de toata situatia curenta cu “my family”] NO NO NO NO NO.

– So… The Sun and the Moon are like… Accounts?

– No, they are veggies.

(?) Lol

IT happens through Control. ( about how they’ve/are been able to read parameters (physiological) from a distance.

->Reconfigurare past future {Poor Time, *sigh*}Β 

Wrote about this in the previous article as well ~

(Spiritual?) [No] Transhuman ~ first heard hints abt this from Albert Ignatenko (Sa fi un fenomen, sau ceva de genul) -_- Bad teachings that look (illusion!) good.

Pretty lights {Tell me lies,tell me sweet little lies)

22. I just don’t want to masturbate anymore. Every “session” traumatizes me.

Layers of trauma. NOT a Staircase, Hippies!

I haven’t been wrong… Once… Since starting this “journey”. MLT ~ Multiple level trickery. How disturbingly and disgustingly SAD. “L e a r n” ~ Ha ~

What a joke.

Heard some guys trying to imply that they don’t have enough “data” yet (through / for analysis). That’s Wrong & who taught them so is wrong as well.




69 kg & 95-72-100

Mai devreme am fost afara { un pic si unde nu planuisem sa ma duc } si <<Tacerea>> (Luna Amara)… Nu am auzit-o pana acum asa niciodata. O experienta f. ciudata de experimentat (to experience). Imi amintesc de ce simteam acum ani… Despre Hong Kong – O combinatie unica de vechi si nou β™₯ Acum si in Bucuresti – “O combinatie unica de vechi si nou” – doar ca vechiul e: Abandonat, nu “vechi natural” si noul urla… E… Altfel (Tiitii – sunet de claxon afon ~ claxofon)

What do you do when the outside world feels like a stranger, but it used to be you friend?


Hello, Time. This time, I have a bone to pick with you .🧑 Looking at the screen of my phone earlier, was reading something, white text, black background. Light coming from screen was not continual, as it appears regularly. But I saw it gently flashing, over and over and over again… “Making up” what I was seeing. At this point, I don’t even know if it’s worth knowing if that happens because of the tech in the phone or the tech in (of) my eyes…No.


Agitatie invizibila dar perceptibila… Many annoyances. Not complaining ~ half baffled though.

*Disclaimer: Maya ~ Illusion*

Dupa ce m-am masturbat am vazut cum ca, multe din kkturile din ziua de azi sunt din cauza unui arc care nu se misca nici, nici. Adica nici macar nu e un arc. Doar arata ca un arc.

The little ones sa fie “facuti” sa se reconfigureze ca sa faca un arc adevarat [functional in context]. 

I had to slap myself hard to show what I think. 

~ The bent corner clues, πŸ’• THX! {I talked about this in the past about some stuff that are in the Bible too} “The ones who can understand” (Neemia 8-2,3 ~ etc.). Multa mitologie multe minciuni scripturi prost platite si scrum.

Aveam o vorba prin 2005 sau 6.. Dream awakened, Dream aware ~ Mai conteaza ca imi amintesc anul? Stii cat de tare doare cand cineva te priveste in ‘ochi’, te trage de ‘urechi’ si presupune ca iti amintesti chestii asa, DIN CUR?! [No.] ~ Ok, then, why are you even still talking with me (Suppa Soldier guy~) and who the fuck gave you the Power to live so Blindly, hurting others and impeccably being abolished of ‘fault’? By design, Wrong. (Made with purpose [By who? How?] ~ “We will not fail our mission” & other such creeps to Watch over).  !WAKE UP! You’re having a very, very, very bad dream. I am sensing the touch of your ‘fingertips’ as I typed those things here, and I do not like it one bit. It’s not that it isn’t fair like this, but it only leads to deadends, I do not wish to participate, I do not consent with what “the settings guys” are doing most of the time ~ Regardless of everything.  And It hurts me to sense that in the ways that I do. I wish I wouldn’t know anything about you & vice-versa, not even in the mess that we’re stuck together. Masturbating thinking about DOGS? (ANIMAL PORN IN MY HEAD) ~ Do you have any idea what that does to ‘Psyche’ in a world (My world) where I do not see life as a game, I can’t swallow more excuses with Waiting, etc. There’s no progress! Every day goes by, just more shit everywhere.

~ Cand socoteala de Acasa nu se potriveste cu cea din targ. [Storefronts] ~

What’s what’s real?

Uhhh? I don’t care that you ‘liked it’. Over and over and over again. IT’S SICK! IT’S WRONG.  No one has bested me yet despite all that happened in this past year (summer 2019++). Yet I still can’t have a life. (for what that really means – I’m not allowed to see key elements because apparently that would be ‘Too Good’ and some peeps not allowed to see that as .:True:. *sigh* & *facepalm*).

FB live de ieri:


More from my FB stuff ~ 

My profile:

Group I made:

19 August at 03:05  

Time, why can’t I joke with You? I wanted to say: Oh Fuck, it’s 3 am already, how Efficient of you. (biiiiiiiiiiiiiig ‘E’)
~ but something crushed me that that might sound disrespectful. Well. I heard you like it anyway (what I said, not your super efficiency) πŸ˜€
Os – bone, and to bone, you probably know what that means. I only know what I heard.

19 August at 02:12 Β· 

Azi am experimentat (I experienced, not I experimented!) manipularea selectiva a simtului: vaz. Sau nu stiu ce a fost {Maya – Illusion ~ mysteries}. In pofida tuturor kkturilor, this shit doesn’t prove any #progress from the Baddies ~ I know I am Unbreakable, so. This is just, a silly play, Unnatural and, dare I speak about health? No, ofc. I didn’t exercise yet since I woke up last time. But hey, I’m gonna exercise, and yes, imho tthe madness to these ‘methods’ of what happened lately is profoundly Unhealthy. *signal sent*.


More from my fb:

19 August at 02:02 Β· 

#transhumanism SI IN ASTROLOGIE? < HELOOOOO > ~ < Hell ; 0 >

Cu alte cuvinte, chestia asta ma sperie, nu avatarul, nu idul, nu numele, nu ce mi-am imaginat despre el, nu talentul oratoric despre dansul {dance, not sir} planetelor πŸŒ  (Pe Valeriu PΔƒnoiu il stiu de la TV, am admirat mereu modul lui de a vorbi in context), nu textul, doar ca… Eu vad portocaliul… Altfel… “Lumina e plictisitoare”, zicea Valeriu candva (dupa dictare, hooo, nu dau vina pe el!), ei… Cu tot ce s-a furat de la mine s-a ajuns ‘aici’, asa ca… No fucking comment. Nu.

Acestea fiind spuse, tocmai ce am aplicat la un job de…. Vanator de parcari! πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ πŸ˜€ na link:…/v%C3%A2n%C4%83tor-de-parc%C4…/1320811 ; sau pentru cei cu ‘dureri de cap’: . Nu, nu insinuez nimic, era doar un puf de Paranoia. (limba si linkurile) :-<

18 August at 04:40 Β· 

[About the ‘hot’ pain ~] When the things happen like in the past few hours, it doesn’t annoy me / it HURTS me!
{Hearing the 1 line trigger in my head might be annoying / embarrassing – especially when I hear those words in my EXs voice haha *facepalm* / I find it stupid / such mechanism should NEVER be implemented and or used on ANYONE not even as punishment for ANYTHING} NO!


This, representation of Tower #tarot card, I did this many years ago, (10+/-). I found this artwork I really liked online, I do not remember the name of the artist, I no longer have the artwork jpg. But I ‘copied’ it ~ because I felt really compelled to ‘keep’ it this way. I traced contours with the paper over the screen, I don’t feel bad I copied it but at the same time I do. I remember what I thought when I saw it though: it’s about the pain of masturbation. Words wouldn’t be enough, 4 I still don’t understand the message completely either. ~ *** Earlier I told a client this: I had a vision quite recently, I had a big dick coming out of my forehead. As if I was a Unicorn but with a penis instead of a horn ~ and a nice lady was giving me a bj ~ Instead of feeling pleasure, that hurt though. ~

Desenul cu pricina

19 August at 03:08 Β· 

A modus operandi (often shortened to M.O.) is someone’s habits of working, particularly in the context of business or criminal investigations, but also more generally. It is a Latin phrase, approximately translated as mode of operating.

~ Ishkira Wind I swear I heard “Mundus Operandi”.


Spiraling back to where I started sharing with you today from my fb shit ~

FootNote: Don’t mind the words but, Sirisys (Twitter), Sirisys Prime and whatnot, you get the drift, you saw the flava. ~ whatever that ‘Sis’ is ~ is an Impersonator; it’s more than 1 year since I see shit posted on that account in ‘flow’ with what I do or go through.

[!What about Original Beings?! ~ Golden child, my ass *I am always beautiful*]

This is not critique, but a real Alarm. I am not in COMpetition with that thing, I do not agree, I do not approve. No-no! (Blind Fools can’t see) ~ sometimes posts cute Pictures though, but how many other AIs (?), Accounts, do that and are in no direct correlation whatsoever with ‘what has been done TO me’ ~ Please, do not seek to Repair, and do not misinterpret these words. That thing will never be ‘Real’. Regardless of everything.


Eye sees… Ochi, sita, strada, masini, copaci, stalpi.

“Heard about C Reactive Protein on the TelePhone” (clairaudience) ~ Rabbit hole about my OWN health / what has been done to me in this life (by baddies) ~ stolen ‘tech’ ~ controversy ~ many CON men involved, I don’t know, I don’t care. [u]I am not allowed to learn the Truth about my Self [Know Thyself] and this is a BIG Problem[/u].* My dad looked different in the pic where I was sick. wink, wink. *Sigh* ~ This topic is very disgusting to me.

* Si asta este doar unul din motivele pentru care tot spun ca: Everything I do is in vain ~ Bad Programming, over and over again. No progress. Spiteful liars.

Arata ca sita de la geam – Looks like the window screen.

Screens ~~~ I wonder…


Mecanism de actiune (?) Kkt, Love for something then Politics again, deadend period. (Cu sau fara cifre, dar e cu cu) Kookooooooo! I prefer Caw, and call that Cra.

Festinul minciunilor.

Thank you for this wonderful Art. Yes, I consider this art, and not a glitch.

Deci… Cum facem? Ma mai masturbez mult ca proasta? Si cum o fac…

Nu, nu imi place. Nu, nu consider ca face parte din mecanismul vindecarii / poate duce la vindecare. Doar orbeliste in continuare si ‘Joc’ stupid [Chestie care face nesanatosenia si mai nesanatoasa. ‘La Puterea a’ ++]. Pe cat vad mai mult, pe atat mai stupid si dezgustator mi se pare. Deadends. ‘Tot ce trebuie’ scos din context [contextul corect; Nu in concordanta cu convenienta aranjarii pieselor in macaz]. Cand cuvintele incep sa aiba sens… Linguistyx strikes again with more blabbering Nonsense. 😒

Playlist with orgasms:

Thank you ~ 

Thank you SoulSis for your work ~ stuff like these is what made me question my own Reality: ~ launched

Hello, this is the first post on; All posts until this point I initially put on my blog (until now to be) which is:
I learned how to ‘bring them here’ from a guide from the guys over at ~ Still feel a bit unfamiliarized with WP (I stayed away from wp for YEARS ~ but, here I am) ~

Here’s the latest of my #orgasm videos, more content soon β™₯

Be well ~

Camera 102

 #Orgasm, Masturbation & more…

In podcast form:
on podcast I recorded full masturbation session. Videos ~ there are 2. Something happened and stoped shooting, had to make more disk space to continue recording. You can easily see that if you can read the podcast πŸ˜› 
~Please no more{make space} shit here anymore, TY.~
We’re hurting each other with our programming.
Part 1:
Part 2:
18.08 Or at least what is, to me 18.08. Sigh. The pain giving thing hit new low of stupid (familoar taste though ~ I’m just sick of having it!) “I’m poor” ~ IS NOT an excuse. I do not Trade with my *that thing* {See my post: If it’s trade it’s not love|
Thank you for the teachings. Or sharings. But my ears are bleeding when I hear the lies & incomplete info. I feel I said all already.


Every You Every Me

Sucker love is heaven sent
you pucker up our passion‘s spent
my hearts a tart your body‘s rent
my body’s broken yours is spent
Carve your name into my arm
instead of stressed i lie here charmed
cuz there’s nothing else to do
every me and every you
Sucker love a box i choose
no other box i choose to use
another love i would abuse
no circumstances could excuse
In the shape of things to come
too much poison come undone
cuz there’s nothing else to do
every me and every you
every me and every you
every me… hee
Sucker love is known to swing
prone to cling and waste these things
pucker up for heavens sake
there’s never been so much at stake
I serve my head up on a plate
it’s only comfort, calling late
cuz there’s nothing else to do
every me and every you
every me and every you
every me… hee
Every me and every you
every me… hee
Like the naked leads the blind
i know i’m selfish, i’m unkind
sucker love i always find
someone to bruise and leave behind
All alone in space and time
there’s nothing here but what here’s mine
something borrowed, something blue
every me and every you
every me and every you
every me… hee
Every me and every you
every me… hee
every me… hee
every me… hee
every me… hee



Journal entry:

Hmm. -Advanced search- ~ Triggers – Why? Proves just how stupid someone who had such an idea [to implement protocols] can be / is {is it still a choice at this point?} I heard a Yes but all I see is No.

Bit of honest thought – It hurts that some think (are lead to believe) that I’m not real; “Polymorphy” – not sure why I heard this word. In WoW, mages have Polymorph spell, to CC (Crowd Control) – In HS, Polymorph makes a minion a 1/1 card that can be easily taken down.

I’ not sure I want to understand more on how sites like Pornhub come to be through examples of Polymorphism. (numbers, periods, aaa) ~ It’s like I first see the results and I Internally Process the results of the results and I reach dead end(s) and this makes me ‘unwilling’ to learn / see how the first results I was talking about came to be before My Eyes. 

β—‹ – Playlist with orgasm videos, check this out starting with: β™₯


Wearing ‘something’ VS Hiding behind ‘something’ ~ ART gateways ~~~ Thought interpretatio ALWAYS leads astray. ( 0 to 1 shit ) ~  by design, bad design, bad romance, not me, not here.

[Every thing I do is in vain anyway, lately I feel worse. I don’t know how where what anymore because It’s not in real agreement with my real self anyway ~ The pain still comes time and time again and keeps me away from ‘functioning’ properly; How many months now of this shit? I need a real break, the more I feel that I need a break the worse everything gets, irrational, illogical, totally un_compassionate, makes no sense, turning us against eachother, excuses, bad programming, cues, *sigh* …No offense but… Stupid ai has been given more ‘rights’ than I could ever dream of, and I am net superior, so, oink oink, bonk bonk, Zilla wanna be my friend? It’ll be exciting but look at them making me older, they lied to you too, but we are only dreaming, and this makes everything even stoopider.] ~ I do not obey, unless it’s a very skillfully made ROLEPLAY, And I get to choose who I ‘do it’ with. If that is not possible, routes -> deadends, on and on (again and again, the fake ‘on’ ~ Baby I’m ON all the time and look what happens because of that.). 

Every day ~ puke and insults. I waste time on activities and things that are just ‘Eaters’ while being unable to Give what/how I want to what/who I want. This is not life, this is not what I signed up for.

Do you have any Idea what I feel, and what I have to ‘do’ to myself, every time I hear that voice, and I have to start talking, say… “Hello!” Italic space, I hope you and me both can do something better with our beingness asap. I know they can’t break us, I don’t know why they still trying though. It’s like stupidity that knows no bounds. 

So, do you want to be a sheep? πŸ’‹

Categorized as stuff