Weird headachE

last time I tried it didn’t go like this – blank.

Not allowed to take a screenshot so I took a picture. Started watching this on Netflix. Ghost in the Shell SAC_2045 ~ found this interesting ‘no noise no life’ because of what I’ve been led to believe lately… Also, translation seems off. (both the Japanese & Romanian ones)

In my context, noise [“Every sound hurts”], like I’ve been talking a bit about it, still makes no sense to me but, I hear {sensory manipulation – Nightmare}, a REaction is encouraged[forced] (in MY OWN MIND! ~ by external sources ~ certain sequences activated against my will & maybe others’ too.) then I ‘Emit’ something that I’d label as ‘bad’ ~ that is ‘food’ for the ones that are used to make my reality seem the way it does, over and over again. I don’t know how to put this in better words now, irrelevant, anyway. I’ve heard (felt) that this is already a known thing. I tried various pathways and I always seem to reach similar deadends ~ I have no Control, or real choice, when it comes to these circumstances. It’s very bothersome, stinks of Bad Design. THIS IS NO LIFE. [Inverted somethings; Ooooo, Shiny, I hear Junkrat’s voice in my head].

Interesting article: https://gizadeathstar.com/2020/09/psycho-electric-weapons/

Do I want to learn more about this? Not really. Regardless of our good intent, somebody keeps on making bad choices for us, and quantumify ‘Time’ to their ‘advantage’, which, is nothing like this, really. A weird mechanism.

~~~

Heard this song playing in my head, but I heard the lyrics as: ‘Crucify my heart’ ~ instead of ourselves/myself.

Every finger in the room was pointing at me, I wanna spit
In their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I’ve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands drive another nail in
Just what God needs one more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Everyday I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself

Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, “My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains”

Got a kick for a dog begging for love
I gotta I have my suffering so that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, he says, “Will you ever learn
You’re just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird”

I’ve been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, “My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains”

Please save me, I cry

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Where’re those Angels when you need them?

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, “My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains”

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?

Every day

β›“οΈπŸ”—πŸ“ŽπŸ§ΏπŸ”“πŸ–‡οΈπŸ΄σ ­σ ¨σ ΄σ Ώ

β€’

The sun  from my window today ~ Last night, the sky was so interesting, different, “shiny” ~ I feel that I could almost touch it. Big clouds down low, moving SO fast, that seemed to make the sky look ‘lit’. A rare view for me.. 

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  1. Pingback: why - Azra's little corner 🌠

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