Em~BED(?)

 Why does it feel now as if I have the ‘toughest connection’ with the guys that I should have like the closest connection with (in this context, connections means relationship, and ‘tough’ is not like ‘strong’ but, ‘difficult’. And close means good, being close, like a good relationship between friends. Proximity? Numbers? What’s happening to my mind again? ~ Don’t think about it… Hey! It’s not like I can just stop thinking, right? Masturbation? But… I do that just to…Reach orgasm… Some people are studying what’s happening… I’m so misinterpreted still.. *sigh* Hmpf.) 

~ Difficult to understand, difficult to deal with. Words and words again. Same shit. Loops. Manipulation. Hidden. Not allowed ‘there’. *sigh* Yea, I mean ‘the settings guys’ ~ The wones that won me over because I could FEEL what they were talking about (Feel the heat, love that laughter. Forget me not. Don’t dine with disaster)

~ I still didn’t understand what someone tried to tell me about red and blue ~ I thought… Hmm… Cables.. But then I saw old mental images of Circulatory System from anatomy atlas. Veins, arteries, and then I started thinkink (I swear, I meant THINKING!) cities & maps. OK. So… I still didn’t understand what someone tried to tell me about the red and the blue.
 [Also, somebody ate a letter, again! :P] ~ 
Out of context here: And there’s still that guy over there preoccupied about Space or ‘lack’, thereof. (Hearing wrong)

11.08. I don’t feel like writing today. Same shit as previous days. even writing this was in vain. Little more but a waste of time at least because of codependent shits that still think things should be done in a certain manner. *Keywords* Bitch sucker wrote something. An excuse for …
Like I said: everything I do is [still] in vain; (*)
Part of broken fcken mechanism.
Take care, be well, don’t be like the shits *gulp*
(*) Again I hear echoes of things about ‘what’s to come’, VA veni, Divine plan, A certain He, things in prayer and from the Bible. So… Linguistyx, again and again, because of the restraints caused by… I don’t even know what it means for you, but I talked about this before… The wrong One. 
 
My friend Korinne writes about this too, but with different words. Her works encouraged me over the years, to seek to know myself better & question my programming [Mind Control ~ Faces of evil] ~ Her blog is https://occultpriestess.wordpress.com/ 
Contextually Important (Hello, dear Intuition, I listened to you so here goes: )
Eu vin mereu, si… Tot degeaba :-<
~~~
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