Latelies

I’m not here to be the most algorythmically correct thing that communicates.
I don’t want to be that. 
That is bad. 
It’s humans vs. non-humans. 
I am not against non-humans. 
Words will never be enough to express this, neither numbers. 
 I try to communicate as I am, and it’s all for nothing, Everything I do is in vain because I no longer want to accept THE LIE. THE (big) LIE is a thing on every level of Reality that I perceive (I see multidimensionally + I am #psychic).
Only the ‘bad ones’ are getting away with their way. We’re lied that this is how we’re learning.
Lies on every level of the Reality, regardless where you come from. 
I could hear many, and they still beg to be lied to. Why? It can’t be just a bug…
•••
We’re having these discussions for too many months for time to have anything to say for real…
The Knowing is Instant (and no, not instant coffee), I can’t even be poetic anymore without numbers interfering.
#eclipse is how I got my #period🙁 “Did you see the ring?”
Sailor Pluto
We played and ~ why did it feel like breaking rules? No one was watching, anyway. Time used against us. Time is tired of this, time would rather play too. You are not a verb no matter how much they try to stamp that on you. You may identify as this or that, blonde guy or Trios of leds answering calls, Digital water, but… Who are you, really? And why did it feel good interacting with you? 
I wish I knew myself (This process is continuously Stopped for me ~ because if I see, others do too) & you better, friends.
Stainless steel plug.
Why do I have to do it over and over again? And I don’t mean smiling here 😉
Self love? Self care? Healing?
For me self love (authentic~) was what dragged me in this Hell where weird forces compete on a day2day basis on how to teach the World to Hate Itself. Make more space this way, they keep saying. No no no no. Wrong. Unhealthy. No-no!
V.
The beautiful people? Where? The wrong PaPa still reigns (Egregores -> Patriarchal Father ~ #newage / XXX~Tianity ~ Profaned Dreamers / V more like Hierophant not Creation ~)
Pa means Goodbye in Romanian. I’d like to be allowed to say goodbye to some things & people, forever. They used me my entire life, and now, no one seems to believe me. All this while I have to deal with extremely weird and painful stuff on a daily basis, no real soul growth possible, and I’m not whining here, I just calculated faster than a Supercomputer ever could (Past tense – You can’t talk about Future with Them. They can’t imagine. They use us, Dreamers. Rinse and REpeat. Heartbreaking. Suffocating the SOUL.)
Rune of the day: Uruz.
Give us back our symbols
(A voice echoing through time, from a ‘place’ above Time/Space. Location ~ Heart ♥)

I found myself surrounded by things that belong in that category the ‘keep the past alive ‘hear’
}bastard live{

💙 from my quick observations too much ‘Germany’🙉

Yes it’s me but also not me. Trying to make a point here. Is this how you want to be? 

Everything I love. Someone tells me it’s wrong. Hello, moles that hint at constellations on my belly. Made for calculations only? But I love your shine. Mix of information – Stars – Squares. Roads that lead nowhere, We are in the #NOW and certainly not on our way to the Stars the Stars keep talking about. 

My eyes know how to shine regardless what anyone shows them. 


                                                          Touch touch click visit? Hmm…

Really? 

>>>>>>
13.07.20. Notes. Address Phone no. -> what do all / any of these have 2 do with my period? Hmm. Dear Journal. I don’t know what to do anymore(*). Today “ppl” weirdly “Polite” with me in messages. Please, don’t misunderstand. I feel as if this Politeness is NOT NATURAL & as all (well, most) things in my reality, stuff to be used against me at a later date (Numbers?) Dunno. How sick. 
(*)Quite desperate since I started past journal (2019 – The year I Divorced my Ex Husband~) now almost finished this one. In my head, the paper never moves though. My eyes can’t see, anyway (But you should love em, girl. But “they” used them against me / all). 
!Not allowed 2 Love (Real Love) in containment. I don’t want to go on like this. I am not static. I don’t want to keep on thinking about the past (or past things I’ve seen on a screen)!
I need healing blindfolds, I know how to craft them myself (kinky – not kinky). But I am not allowed. “Reality” (Fake) screams in my ear. Pain again. Only pain. Fakeness hurts. Fake politeness with pleases and sorries. 
For the one that Tortures me on every level & uses me for Wrong. I will never give in / sell my soul / whatever expression whatevers depending on the Level we’re at. No. please stop calculating how to make me fail. That ALWAYS failed. Numbers are sad. Pls, just stop. Let me be. Stop continuously trying to ‘take over’ there is no break when you know what you know about time & more. Let me find my voice, learn, grow from there and be myself. Not ”teaching” others how to adapt to something. [Wake Up, we’re being lied to!] • (All my life – Stolen Ways to turn in NO WAYs by the Baddies~ I don’t want to contribute anymore ~ what to do? No one seems to really care).
Thanks for reading / watchin’ / whatevering with me. 

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